This morning, I found out my Aunt Ruth passed away after some time in the ICU. She has not been well for awhile- and while this seemed inevitable, it was still a shock to hear the news. I had not seen her in a long time because of her health and because my Uncle Murray (her husband) has been sick for a long time. I usually saw them at Pesach in Teaneck. They would come for the Sedarim with their son and his family. I have many memories of sitting with her during the meals while the men had all gone to sleep. She would tell me stories of family politics- which are always interesting to find out. She lost a beloved daughter many years ago to cancer and she spoke of her often. She was a devoted wife who took very good care of her husband through all his sicknesses, hospital stays and everything else. Her only child married late in life and she was fortunate to live long enough to see her two beautiful grandchildren.
I have been caught up with my pregnancy recently along with the anticipation of an addition to the family (bli ayin hara) that I have rather forgotten what happens at the end of life. It is sobering to be reminded that while there is so much happiness in life, there is also much grief. I guess it is a consolation when a birth occurs soon after a death- the cycle of life continues and the family endures. While my Aunt Ruth is gone, my memories of her still here and while she will never know my children, they can know of her.
May her memory be a blessing.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
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7 comments:
I am so sorry for your loss, and touched by your beautiful words. It is at times like this that it must be hard to be so far away.
We miss you and send our wishes that Hashem comfort your family among the mourners of Zion.
Beautiful post.
I just got back from New York after attending the funeral and paying Shiva calls to Uncle Murray and Stuart. Regards were sent to the Seattle outpost from all.
What strikes me about (my) Aunt Ruth (I actually had two of them, this one married into the family), was that even with all the grief and pain, she always had a positive outlook and a good and friendly word for others. As Viktor Frankl taught us, the ultimate freedom we have is the freedom to choose our attitude in any set of circumstances. She certainly chose a positive outlook and lived it infectiously.
Considering her health problems for at least the last 10 years, it was a gift that she was able to see her son marry and her two grandchildren. I reminded Stuart that this thought should be his focus.
As for you, the recognition of the inevitable loss in life should help you appreciate positive experiences and how important it is to be aware of your life's journey and try to enhance the journey of your fellow travelers. An essential parenting skill is to maintain perspective for yourself and for your children who will look to you for direction. I don't know if you noticed those provisions in the "So you want to be a parent" contract you must have signed before becoming pregnant, but I assure you it's there.
Changing topics, Julie also says the profile in the ultrasound is yours. Ari, maybe the next one will look like you.
Rachel, That was a beautiful post and tribue to Aunt Ruth. It must be hard to be away at a time like this. Yesterday was a difficult day for everyone, especially Stuart and Uncle Murray . At times like this we should remember all the good times and good memories. I think we should all remember to seize the moment. Don't put off things; we should push ourselves a little harder to go the extra mile. Do an act of kindness even if you don' t feel like it, make that phone call to jus say hi, visit someone in need. You never know what life bings and it's better to know that you made a difference in someone's life instead of just meaning to do it but never getting around to it. So make hat phone call or visit and brighten someones day. A bright smile and good cheer goes a long way.
During Aunt Ruth's long illness and stay in the nursing home, what made her day was visits and phone calls and knowing that someone cared and was thinking about her. I probably sound very ?preachee? but I really do feel very strongly about that.
Keep well.
Just an update, not related to this post. Carefirst has asked me to sign a release to do a background check. They are doing this check on their top candidates, so I guess I have progressed to the next level. I'll keep you posted.
Beautiful post, may her memory be a blessing, Linda
Where are the updates? Come on Polsky's don't be slackers!
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